


ALTSCHMERZ

by sunshneveins



Series: PERISHABLE [1]
Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Doctor Who AU, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-25
Updated: 2015-09-25
Packaged: 2018-04-23 07:31:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,553
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4868396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunshneveins/pseuds/sunshneveins
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>and here is the doctor, a boy with bright green eyes and a firefly grin - his name is gavin, now. he is sad and he is in love. here is his lover, the revered archaeologist daniel gruchy. he is cocksure and he is in love. here is the truth: their love story was doomed from the beginning.</p>
<p>darillium has said goodbye to the impossible man and the child of time. before all too soon, the child of time will bid goodbye to his life. here, you see, are his last moments. his last kiss, his last <em>i love you</em>, his last trip in the tardis.</p>
            </blockquote>





	ALTSCHMERZ

**Author's Note:**

  * For [foolycoolie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/foolycoolie/gifts).



> I wrote this a while ago. Finally got around to proofreading it. Decided to publish it, because... who knows. Enjoy dumb space boyfriends. This is a small part of a rather large AU, but it's one I'm still working on, so it'll all be quite a while away. In any case, enjoy!

There are some points in time that are fixed. Events that must always occur, in order to protect the sanctity of both time and space. Most events are in a constant state of flex, enabling people like one Gavin Free to toy with the intricacies of the universe. Gavin knows this, has known for it a long time; well-before he became Gavin, even before Matt decided to leave his former name behind.

Daniel Gruchy has always seemed like the single exception to this rule.

He isn’t. Gavin knows he isn’t, has tried to find a way around Dan’s eventual demise. He has agonized over it for nearly three hundred years now, and he  _can’t_. There is no timeline in which Daniel Gruchy is understandably selfish and does not sacrifice himself for a version of his husband who does not yet know him. In every timeline that Gavin can see, every one he has explored, Dan takes Matt’s place to save Jeremy and everyone else the Library will try to save.

Dan’s death is a fixed point. There is nothing Gavin nor anyone else can do in an effort to try and stop Dan from sacrificing himself. There is something tragic in that, Gavin supposes – the two of them, when together, are near unstoppable; even more so with Michael and Lindsay at their side. When Gavin is alone, he feels terribly useless. He cannot save his own best friend from his tragic death, despite Dan doing everything possible to stop his own.

The word Doctor, in the Gamma Forests, means mighty warrior.

Gavin has never been so glad to have abandoned his former title. Though he knows both Michael and Dan see him as every bit the warrior legend has made him out to be, there is a truth only he can see: he is just a little boy, one who stole a magic box and ran away. Gavin still wonders if he’ll ever find his way back home.

For a while, he thinks he did. He found his home in Dan, in Michael and Lindsay, in the little Jones family that stole his heart and never once thought to return it. Michael and Lindsay are gone now, at Gavin’s request – he hasn’t seen them in a while. Michael keeps calling the TARDIS and she refuses to block the calls from coming through.

He should visit, soon. After tonight.

After goodbye.

If he found his home, Gavin knows that it will be gone before too soon. Michael and Lindsay will move on and finally enjoy their married life together, and Dan will front up at the Library before too soon and Gavin isn’t sure if their paths will ever cross again, further into his timeline.

A selfish part of him hopes not. To find Daniel Gruchy on the TARDIS’ doorstep generally acts as a bad omen. An even more selfish part hopes so. After all, to find Daniel Gruchy on the TARDIS’ doorstep generally acts as a bad omen. Good omens are too boring, too mainstream- Gavin prefers the bad. Always has. And now, and now- he desperately wants to find Daniel Gruchy on his doorstep near-constantly as he isn't ready to say goodbye: he has never liked goodbyes. Dan knows this, knows it too well.

“You look worlds away, B.”

Gavin startles out of his thoughts, looking up at Dan across the console. “Bloody hell, Daniel. You scared the bollocks out of me!” He forces a grin, though he knows there’s a certain force to it that is obvious to Dan, as the younger man’s face falls into an expression somewhat resembling concern. “Tell you what, though. How ‘bout you take the two of us back to Stormcage? You’ve always loved piloting this thing.” Gavin averts his gaze, unable to hold Dan’s unwavering stare.

“I’d love to,” Dan answers without missing a beat, voice smooth despite the concern plain on his face. “Afraid I won’t be taking us back to Stormcage, though. Got invited out on this little expedition out to the Library. Tell me, have you ever visited? This Kjellberg bloke swears up and down that it’s bloody fabulous, when in operation. Been closed for a while, he wants to know why.”

“His family owns it, that’s why.” Gavin offers, mouth dry. He hadn’t thought it’d be this quick – thought that Dan would get to terrorize the guards in Stormcage a little longer before Felix Kjellberg requested his pardon for a crime he didn’t commit. “Went once. With little Jeremy. Wasn’t our best outing.”

Dan fiddles with a few controls on his side of the console, seemingly torn on how to respond; out of all the people Matt had taken along on the TARDIS, Jeremy is the one Gavin generally refuses to speak with Dan about – he’s not sure why, has never been. Jeremy was his best friend long before Michael and Dan, and he’s still out there, somewhere, unaware of the life he’d lead with Matt Bragg and his silly little box. Spaceman and Earthboy.

A few moments, then, “Be nice to see it open again. Maybe we could go. Bring along Michael and Lindsay, yeah?”

Gavin swallows. He wants to say that he’d love to,  _of course_ , because he does – he wants to beg Dan to go back to Stormcage, where it’s safe. Gavin knows that Dan will not listen, and so he doesn’t; it will pain him tomorrow, when he accepts that he may well have seen his Daniel for the last time. Instead, he shrugs, settling back on the little seat to the left of the console. “We’ll see.” After a beat, he sighs. “I think I’m gonna take a kip. Wake me up when we arrive, all right?”

“I can do that.”

The last thing Gavin sees is Dan looking over at him, expression somewhere between concern and fondness.

* * *

“Gav, Gav- wake up, you dope. You owe me a kiss goodnight, don’t you?” Dan’s voice is strangely gentle, and Gavin blinks awake slowly. It takes a moment or two, but Dan eventually comes into focus, face earnest but grin blinding. “When you’re out, you’re out like a bloody night light, did you know that?”

“That metaphor makes no sense, Daniel,” Gavin objects through a yawn, rubbing at his itchy eyes. “We’re here already?”

Dan’s grin doesn’t waver in the slightest, and he instead offers out a hand for Gavin. “You know, you’re the only one to ever call me Daniel. Why’s that?”

Gavin takes the offered hand and Dan pulls him up onto his feet, seemingly very nonplussed about the act. “I prefer Daniel over Dan, I think.”

“You do, do you?” Dan looks thoughtful for a moment, then seemingly shrugs the thought away. “Come on, B. Time to say goodnight. Gotta get ready for Kjellberg and his lot.”

Again, Gavin is struck by the need to get down on his knees and beg Dan to reconsider taking Kjellberg up on his offer. It’s selfish, needlessly so; to intercept a fixed point in time is basically suicide for the both of them, and if Dan ends up at the Library, Matt will grant him with something Gavin cannot: life after death.

This is the merciful choice, and still, Gavin doesn’t feel right sending Dan off to his death.

“All right,” Gavin murmurs, then leads forward and cradles Dan’s face in his hands. He finds that a part of him doesn’t want to let go of the younger – Gavin just wants to stay here forever, to go back to Darillium and its’ beautiful singing towers, or even to days spent in the TARDIS with Dan, Michael and Lindsay. It was easy, then. It’s not quite so easy now. “Goodnight, then.”

Dan smiles, leans his forehead over to nudge Gavin’s. “See you soon, I suppose.”

_I’ll probably be seeing you_ , Gavin thinks.  _You won’t be seeing **me**_. The thought is instantly sobering, and he tenses as Dan’s hands come to a rest around his hips. “That’s all up to you, B. Always is. Never know how to bloody well find you, do I?” Gavin forces a laugh, though he’s surprised to find that it sounds awfully watery.

Dan seems to hear it too, and he leans out of Gavin’s grasp and raises one of his own hands to cradle Gavin’s cheek. “Are you  _crying_ , B?”

“Christ, Daniel. Of course not.” Gavin turns away from Dan’s hand, reaching up to rub at his eyes. They’re dry now, but there’s an awfully tight knot in his throat and it never ends well. It’s been a while since he’s felt like this, he remembers. He hasn’t cried since the Pandorica, after he’d said goodbye to his little Michael. He’d forgotten how little a crier Gavin Free considers himself to be. “It was beautiful tonight, wasn’t it? It was a good night?”

Dan smiles. “It was stunning, Gav. Absolutely buggering gorgeous.”

“Good.” Gavin manages a smile of his own, then leans in and presses a butterfly-light kiss to Dan’s lips. “You’ll be fine at the Library.”

There’s something awfully cocky to Dan’s smile now, though it’s more of a grin, teeth almost bared by the force of it. “Always am.” After a beat, he pulls away from Gavin’s shaking grasp and makes towards the door. “Night, B. I’ll see you around.”

“Always do.”


End file.
